GOOFY X3

Anyone else out there get this much entertainment at the carwash?

Another Take on Hummus

This is more a traditional recipe, with an Angie kick.

1 can chickpeas/garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed, keeping 1/4 cup juice set aside
2 tablespoons tahini paste (Kroger, y'all)
2 tablespoons lemon juice

Throw all that in a processor, sprinkle with a bit of chili powder, garlic salt, and cumin, and blend well.  Scoop it our into a bowl and drizzle with generous amount of honey.  Tastes awesome with blue corn tortillas.

Boob/Breastfeeding/Nursing Hat

I saw this on a pro-nursing site (or somewhere) and laughed at the silly adorableness.   So many idjits complain about women nursing in public, yet have no qualms with pubescent girls dressing like hookers, or little girls being spray-tanned and layered with makeup for beauty pageants.  This little hat is a fun way to say, "Here's a boob, screw you."

It needs a little tweaking, this being a first try and all, but here's the pattern anyway.

Needed:
H hook
J hook
fleshy WW yarn
nipply WW yarn

With H and nipply yarn, ch 3, join with slip st to first ch.  Make 5 sc in center of ring, sl st to first sc.
Ch 1, sc around, join
Ch 1, 2hdc in each st, join
Repeat last round 2 times
Join fleshy yarn, ch 1, hdc around, join
Switch to J hook, ch 1, 2 hdc in each st around, join
Repeat last round
For the next 7 rounds, ch 1, hdc in each st around, join
For last round, ch 1, hd slip st in each ch, join and finish off.

TA DA

You knew it had to be quick and easy--it's me, after all.

I'm making these for free to any nursing mama who provides "her" color yarn.

WHERE'D YOU EVEN GET THAT?!

At times I am the only adult in the house.  When this occurs, I am not allowed to:

take a nap
take a shower
go to the bathroom
sleep in
cook
go to the mailbox
take the dog out
clean the bathrooms
craft
do the dishes
anything not related to my kids' current activities,
else they will act like complete tards.

Sometimes it's minor, like drawing whiskers on each others' faces with Sharpies (I swear I put all those away).

Other times it's completely FUBAR, like swallowing something inedible and life-threatening.

. . .like, say, a freakin battery.


Yeah, that's my four-year-old's belly.  And yeah, that little circle there?  That's some kind of little battery.   I have no clue where it's from.   I DO know where it's going though, and that trip ain't gonna be fun for anybody.  Excuse me, I have to go find some craft sticks to dissect poo.

BLACK BEAN BROWNIES

Sounds pretty nasty, right?  But I was surprised--these jokers are yummy, lighter than most brownies, and packed with fiber.  BUT, they're also packed with sugar, so take it easy.

You will need:
1 can black beans--drained, rinsed well, and smushed to creaminess
3 eggs
3 tbsp canola oil
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
2 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp baking powder (optional)
3/4 cup chocolate chips

Blend all that ish together and pour into 8 inch square dish.  Bake at 350 for 35 minutes and yeeeeeaaahh!

TOLERANCE

No, it wasn't a rough day.  Her hair looks like that 3 minutes after I brush it every day.

As a person who has been called "weird" and "crazy" her whole life, I've done my best to teach my kids a few things:

1. Different isn't a bad thing.  It's okay to be different.  In fact, in this house, it's highly encouraged.
2. Unique and creative are about as cool as you can get.
3. Who gives a turd what everyone else is doing?  If it was all that great, they wouldn't feel the need to recruit.
4. Other people being different is cool, too.  Be it that they look, dress, act, talk, learn, eat, pray, sing, whatever, in a way you don't do yourself, or in a way you don't know, doesn't make them any less "okay" or acceptable that you.
5. Most of the above has been taught in direct reference to the Princess' condition, which is an effort to teach someone with neurological issues.

"It hurts my feelings when you call her Autistic."--a grown member of my family.  IT'S NOT A FREAKIN NAME I'M CALLING HER TO BE MEAN, IT'S HER EFFIN DIAGNOSIS. . . AND IT'S OKAY.  The Princess is learning that Asperger's can actually be pretty cool.  It allows her to do things most kids can't. . .like her whole music savantism.  (That's not a word.  I don't care.)

So, when I was walking through the lobby at work and Tater pointed out her sister's name on the Character Kid wall, I got a bit stupid.

"Anistyn is always understanding of others' differences.  She also appreciates the uniqueness in all people."

Ohhhhh, I'm getting all choked up again.

Seriously, do you people understand just how friggin AMAZING this is?!

This is exactly how I want my children to be.


Excuse me.  I have to go freak out the Princess by attacking her with giant hugs.  And cookies.  Yeah, this def calls for cookies.