AGAIN WITH THE BAD PICTURES

This time, it's mainly my fault for being lazy and not putting too much effort into setting up--it was a "hey, y'all stand right there and freakin smile" kind of thing.

INAPPROPRIATE AND AWESOME

So I was eating lunch with some co-workers the other day, and one (we'll refer to as Chim Chim because that's just cute) was stressing over her mother's diagnosis of dementia and what they're going through.  Other ladies began to tell horrid stories of their own families' struggles with different relatives and such.  It was sad as hell.  Chim Chim was quietly listening, her head lowered, and I was getting desperate to make her smile, to lighten things up, to just stop the sad.

So I did what I do best, and got inappropriate.

"When I was a kid, my mom took a part-time job at a nursing home.  She used to take me as punishment.  Then she quit and I took her position."  I left out the part about my first day, when I locked myself in the back office and bawled my ass off.  I couldn't deal with shit like that, so I decided to make it awesome. "I had soooo much fun with those folks.  One dude thought he was a mobster, and some lady thought I was sleeping with her husband.  It was like the ultimate pretend game."

Chim Chim looked up and said, "Angie, I wish I could do that."  Before I could ask, "What?  Play pretend?  We can, dude--you be Luke and I'll be Yoda and you can give me piggyback rides down the hall to the potty" she said, "I wish I could just . . . embrace life like you do."

I nearly choked.  I've never had anyone put my lack of social graces in such a kind light before.  And I've never thought of myself as one to embrace anything besides the toilet after too much drinky drink.

And she smiled again.

That felt awesome.

So I leave you with this:  Be kind, be happy, be crazy, be inappropriate, be awesome.
 It ain't that hard.












That's what she said.

WE ARE JUST NOT A PHOTOGENIC BUNCH

So Stitch has an "All About Me" assignment due Monday, which requires a family picture.  Pretty sadly, I realized we don't freakin have one.  So. . .we tried.

The Big Munky looks like a big tard.

I look confuzzled.

Stitch looks terrified.

Princess looks derpy.

Tater looks like she wants to eat your soul.  I look like I'd let her.

Again with the Big Munky

I give up.

Good enough.

BLUEBERRY BUCKLE

AKA, "ginormous muffin with streusel topping."

So last week we took the brood on a little field trip to a local orchard and set em to work in the fields.

And I did a lil pickin myself

So we went home with an assload of peaches and blueberries.

What the hell is a girl supposed to do with an assload of peaches and blueberries?!

Well, there's homemade granola with the berries, and sweet tea with the peaches. . .hmmm. . .on to Facebook and Foodgawker!

The Big Munky's wonderfully good-natured and humorous cousin (whom I share my name with, which makes her doubly awesome) gave a recipe for peach cobbler.  I've never actually seen cobbler up close, and was initially pretty against cooked fruit, but I thought what the hell.  But, since I can't follow any directions (I'm a rebel, yo) I did some other crap to it that I can't really remember--and it still turned out pretty damn good.  Good enough that all 3 of the kids and Big Munky ate it, and that it didn't last a day.

Sweet.

Then I found a recipe for Blueberry Buckle.  I'd never heard of it, so it registered as "weird as hell," and I was, of course, intrigued.

Again, Angified the snot out of the thing, but kept notes as I did so.  It was awesome, too, and tasted just like a blueberry muffin.

And, again, it didn't last a day.

Sugar--1 cup white
            1/2 cup brown
Shortening--1/4 cup
Egg
Flour--2 cups
Baking powder
Salt
Blueberries
Cinnamon
Butter
Vanilla

Mix 3/4 cup sugar, 1/4 cup shortenin, and 1 egg.

Separately mix 1 2/3 cup flour, 2 tsp baking powder, and 1/2 tsp salt

Grab 3/4 cup milk.

Alternating the milk and first mix, add into the flour mix and stir well.

Stir in 2 cups of blueberries.

Pour into pan.

Topping:
1/4 white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup flour
1/4 cup melted butter
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp vanilla

Mix and pour over top of cake.
Bake at 375 for 25-30 minutes.

Freakin YUM.

PINTEREST WINS AND FAILS

Source: foodgal.com via Angie on Pinterest

Microwaving potato slices to make chips?  Yep.  It was pretty good, too.
WIN.

Source: lifecraftsandwhatever.blogspot.com via Angie on Pinterest

Hot vinegar mixed with Dawn blue, sprayed onto bathtub.  Leave for 30-45 minutes, then wipe off.  THIS TOTALLY WORKED.  No scrubbing required.
FREAKIN WIN.

Source: onegoodthingbyjillee.com via Angie on Pinterest

Using oils to wash your face--I tried, I did, but damn, that crap takes too long.  I don't have time to spread this junk on, and then just sit with a rag on my face, every freakin night.
MEH.

Source: onegoodthingbyjillee.com via Angie on Pinterest

Make a paste of peroxide and baking soda, let sit, and everything magically wipes off.  I call bullshit on this one.  I let it sit for an hour, then 2 hours, then overnight. . .this "magic" paste did absolutely nothing.
FAIL.

Source: thesmallthingsblog.com via Angie on Pinterest

Faux shellac nails--I don't usually paint my nails, because they pretty much automatically start chipping and look like crap.  But this shit?  5 days, yo.  5 days before the first little chip showed.
WIN.

NO 'POO? NO, THANKS.

So I've seen all this hype about how natural shampoo is soooo much better than commercial brands.  You know what?  It's crap.

And I don't really get why they call it "no 'poo."  I mean, it's still shampoo, it's just not store-bought, sooo. . .yeah.

Anyway.

I tried

this one  http://bathnbody.craftgossip.com/diy-homemade-shampoo-2/2011/02/07/

and this one http://budgetsavingmom.com/2011/04/11/cheap-easy-diy-shampoo-and-conditioner/

and this one, too http://onjustacoupleacres.blogspot.com/2011/04/all-natural-hair-care.html

And they all suck.

Every one said to give it a couple of weeks.  I gave it 5 before I got fed up.  My hair (longish, thick as hell, and wavy/curly) was nasty from day 1.


There's no lather, so I really didn't feel like I was washing a damn thing.  

It doesn't smell good.

It left a funky film/residue covering my hair and head, no matter how many rinses I gave it.

I couldn't freakin comb my wet hair.

I couldn't freakin brush my dry hair.

I kept it pulled up all the time because leaving it down made it look like I'd doused myself with bacon grease.

When I pulled it down, it stayed in place.

NASTY.

So I went back to my trusty ole cheapy Tresemme.  The first time I washed, my knees went weak.  The lather!  The smell!  The awesome way the comb went through my hair!  I LOVE CHEMICALS AND I AIN'T ASHAMED TO SAY IT!

Screw you, no 'poo.

BOOKSTEPS

If I had steps--and one day I will, dammit--this would definitely be a must-do.   My stairs would have:

The Neverending Story
Go the Fuck to Sleep
Good Omens
The Thief of Always
Catch-22
Wicked
Peter Pan
Through the Looking Glass
Harvest Home
Jane Eyre
The Oz Chronicles
Miss Peregine's Home for Peculiar Children
The Season of Passage
Triggerfish Twist
Catching Fire
Lady



What would yours have?

SUPER HEALTHY, SUPER YUMMY, SUPER EASY HOMEMADE GRANOLA

You heard me.

Preheat oven to 325.

In bigass bowl, mix:

4 cups instant or quick oats
1/4 c unsalted sunflower seeds
1/4 c slivered almonds
1/4 c flax seed
1 tbsp cinnamon

In seperate bowl, mix:

3/4 c olive oil
3/4 c honey
2 teaspoons blue agave (opt)
2 teaspoons vanilla

Pour wet mix over dry mix and. . .well, mix.  Make sure everything gets coated well.

Spread out into roasting pan, or two baking sheets, and bake for 10 minutes.  Stir and bake for 10 more minutes.  Remove from heat and allow to cool completely.  Throw some dried fruit in that bitch and you got some good shit for breakfast or snackin.

*Play with it, mix and match--sub in any nuts or spice, throw in some brown sugar, use different oils, whatever.  Let me know how it turns out for ya.

WE'RE ALL MAD HERE

So I've always harbored this little crush on teapots, but never really acted on it.  When I was little, I had a small wicker table and chairs set, with a glass top, that always had a mini porcelain tea service set up.  I loved that shit.

I prefer tea to any other non-alcoholic drink.  Out here when you say "tea" everyone hears "iced tea" or "sweet tea," and that's partly what I mean.  But I love some good old fashioned tea tea.

The kind that comes from this stuff:

Wait, what?  No.  That's nasty.  Who can drink from someone's nose?!  That ain't tea, that's snot.

THIS stuff:

And y'all know "I'm A Little Teapot" was written about me, right?

But all I've got to work with is a cheapy kettle from Wal-Mart and an awesomely aesthetic plum teapot from Amazon.  That's all fine and good, I guess, but I like things to match and coordinate.

Also, I have yet to have "real" tea.  But that's not really an issue.  I'm perfectly content with Starbucks inexpensive Tazo line.  Throw some honey in that shiznit and it is yummy.

But really I love the pots (heh).  Some I'd love to have:

WHAT THE UTTER FUCK?!

No, I wouldn't be able to use her, but C'MON, it's MRS. FREAKIN POTTS!